Getting to where I am today has been a long, drawn out and tiring journey, that I wouldn’t have missed for the world and wouldn’t give a plug nickel to repeat! Bearing that type of abuse all over again, after knowing what’s involved, would parallel removing a hornet’s nest from your front door in a bag, with a hole in the bottom. It’s done...gone and you only got stung three times in the process, but now you can use the door.
Obviously, had I not gone the many routes I chose, I would have ended up in a different place than I have and I would have missed the love of my life and her companionship, which is like sharing myself with me. She has become a part of me. She is my joy, accomplishment, contentment, drive, laughter, strength and my greatest source for inner peace. With her, I need not prove a thing. With her I need not hide a tender side. With her I need not ever awaken the bitter monster inside myself, nor ever again suffer afflictions caused by it. The very thread of it's existence... my terrible anger...was the only lifeline that monster had from within. It was the only remaining portal of escape and through Vicki’s love and tenderness, I constantly whittle away at that thread, to sometime sever it and encase that monster inside forever.
Each day now, is a new beginning to an ended day before... a day of substance, a day I can build upon. Daily, we build a life, consisting of each other, together...never considering that either of us would even consider breaking this togetherness for anything in the world. We have been together every minute, of every day, since we met, several years ago and want nothing more than that in years to come. I never tire of her smiling face and her little giggle. As you become used to moving your arm to pick up a cup and your fingers automatically curl around it and seek the looped handle to pick it up, So too, does my hand find hers, to hold as we walk side by side and slipping my arm around her waist to pull her closer to me as we stand, is as effortless to me as breathing. Yes, she is a part of me, just as my own body is.
It has been a long journey to get to this place and find a soul mate such as Vicki... The drive has been an arduous effort and hasn’t occurred without anguish and laborious corporeal consequences. I have arrived at my oasis of life with an ailing vessel and although I have arrived at the door of my contentment and soul mate, those miles of abuse in arrival, have robbed me off my agility in function. Those long years of abusive travel, have given me arthritic joints and other afflictions we now seek estimates and schedules to repair. Perhaps the repairs are impossible, due to the year of the vessel and if such is true...I will learn how to enjoy my life on a daily basis without such great agility or strength....but damn it; I got here and I won’t give up on Vick or me.