Many times we get so engrossed in life and where we are going that we forget the footsteps left behind as we progressed to our position in life today. Many times we have stubbed our toes or pinched our fingers in learning, if not only, for simply realization of being stung by reality on the way to the present, yet we resist using this knowledge to protect ourselves from the future. Lest we forget the pain endured by these lessons, they can be essential knowledge for plotting the future. I remember being so trustful in my younger life..... yes, feeling that closeness of friends and family would be all that was necessary to ensure camaraderie to the heart. Little did I know that some of my darkest moments would be inflicted upon me by the closest of family and was resulted in heartache, struck through.... as a dagger’s plunge.
And the time was, that I was very careful to not utter discontentment of actions by others, for alas, they too retain the right to say and do as they please. And Quiet I remained..... though their actions infringed upon my life and happiness. I refrained from statement, for I belonged at the same table... living in commune with those same souls that begrudged me my rightful happiness through their tongue of lies. Given years and miles of trodden byways, I’ve deposited these elements of past occurrences’ to my memory and withdraw conclusions as required. No longer could I withstand thoughtless attacks made upon me because they were of ramifications in innocence. The results for me were the same.... kindred closeness or the savage result from an evil adversary..... alike was the inflicted agony. Yet none acknowledged..... yes, nary a soul could see the infliction bestowed unjustly upon my heart. So I became hardened. I became encrusted by a thick armor that could not be penetrated.... by word or deed, by fist or club... by threat nor promise. I became invincible by proxy of another being from within. This being was fair yet ruthless.... caring yet callous.... mindful of feelings yet insensitive to intransitive brutality if called for. It was a nasty being.... one I despised and one which caused me to analyze in retrospect of those actions. I finally concluded that I must distance myself from such actions, both by me... and of those around me, so I changed my thought process to eradicate those beings existence from my conscious world. (They ceased to exist any longer in my knowledge) It was after this, that I found true peace.... peace found by traveling a new path... a path of my choosing, seeking my life’s desire. Oh..... there were more mistakes, more hurt and more paths taken. Many paths were deemed by me as going in the wrong direction, as the years rolled by... but I always remained true to my heart, changing those paths to follow my heart, until I arrived at today..... many years later. Now I look around me and know I had made the correct decision those many years ago.
And the time was, that I was very careful to not utter discontentment of actions by others, for alas, they too retain the right to say and do as they please. And Quiet I remained..... though their actions infringed upon my life and happiness. I refrained from statement, for I belonged at the same table... living in commune with those same souls that begrudged me my rightful happiness through their tongue of lies. Given years and miles of trodden byways, I’ve deposited these elements of past occurrences’ to my memory and withdraw conclusions as required. No longer could I withstand thoughtless attacks made upon me because they were of ramifications in innocence. The results for me were the same.... kindred closeness or the savage result from an evil adversary..... alike was the inflicted agony. Yet none acknowledged..... yes, nary a soul could see the infliction bestowed unjustly upon my heart. So I became hardened. I became encrusted by a thick armor that could not be penetrated.... by word or deed, by fist or club... by threat nor promise. I became invincible by proxy of another being from within. This being was fair yet ruthless.... caring yet callous.... mindful of feelings yet insensitive to intransitive brutality if called for. It was a nasty being.... one I despised and one which caused me to analyze in retrospect of those actions. I finally concluded that I must distance myself from such actions, both by me... and of those around me, so I changed my thought process to eradicate those beings existence from my conscious world. (They ceased to exist any longer in my knowledge) It was after this, that I found true peace.... peace found by traveling a new path... a path of my choosing, seeking my life’s desire. Oh..... there were more mistakes, more hurt and more paths taken. Many paths were deemed by me as going in the wrong direction, as the years rolled by... but I always remained true to my heart, changing those paths to follow my heart, until I arrived at today..... many years later. Now I look around me and know I had made the correct decision those many years ago.
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