Sunday, May 1

Sunday, May 01, 2011...When is a Sport Not A Sport??? The World According To Billy...

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When is it time to think about things that most people don’t? I don’t know, but I’ll surely ask Bill, our Long Island son. While neither Vick or I have time to think about such things, because we’re so busy building buildings, chasing animals and making things to sell...we can always count on Billy to come up with an answer for most everything we’d like to someday think about. Here is one of his latest tirades, observations, beliefs, reports or maybe just his plain old opinion!

When is a Sport Not a Sport?
With all the hoopla recently about School budgets and possible Budget cuts and School Boards threatening to cut programs like music, arts and sports because our dually elected Governor is a skinflint ...I got to thinking. A few years ago, when their original budget did not pass, the Plainedge School Board’s contingency budget cut all their school sports and it was up to the PTA and the parents to raise enough money to reinstate them. Which they did, and I applaud them publically for that. Recently I got into a related discussion at a local pub surrounded by the scholars and statesmen that normally congregate in a place that serves $2 brewskis with more than sixteen LCD TV’s playing 24/7 “Sports” .
The topic was “What is a Sport!” Now it was our collective view that (1) a Sport requires 2 or more people on a side playing simultaneously, (2) a ball and (3) running ( or a short distance sprint)... not a walk, jog or a leap. AND THAT IS ALL! Everything else is just an activity, a recreational event or a life reaction. So in my opinion Cheerleading is NOT A SPORT! Now don’t get your pom-poms in a bunch. Cheerleading is strenuous, athletic, precise, poised and coordinated. But so is Hip-Hop dancing and that is an Activity, not a sport. Jumping, running, tumbling, and yelling is what you also do if your pants are on fire, but that does not make it a sport either.
Baseball, Football, Basketball, Soccer, Lacrosse, Kickball, Doubles Tennis – those are sports, because they fulfill all 3 rules. Hockey is a sport and it gets a sort of a pass here because it is played on ice (you run with skates and the ball has 2 ends cut off, so it slides better) and the women’s version is Field Hockey and has lots of running and a ball .I am sorry to burst your bubble here and do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, But almost everything else is NOT A SPORT. Now I get that this is like telling someone that Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny or Klingons do not really exist, but like Edith Ann would say, “That’s the truthhhhhhhhh!”
With that in mind, I feel activities like Volleyball (no running) Bowling (one person), Gymnastics, Archery and Track & Field require great skill, but so does pet grooming and that is not a sport. Now the Alex Trebek of the evening chimes in as he pours another round of shots. He states that there is something wrong with a society that chooses anything competitive and makes it a sport. Car sales are competitive in the same dealership, but that’s a job and not a sport. He laments over the “World Series of Poker “, “Puppy Bowl”, “Roller Derby Championships”, “Horseracing Derby’s” and “Competitive Eating”. One of the other Non-Mensa participants chimes in, “Where is Pro Competitive Drinking?” (In College –I think to myself). And we all continue to add to the list. Swimming is not a sport, just think of the alternative (drowning?). Running is not a sport; it’s what you do when you don’t want to get beat up. One gentlemen Orator says, “NASCAR is not a sport, it’s a chore. I drive at work each day making lots of left turns with a vehicle with a UPS logo on it, an trust me Dude- that Ain’t a sport” . Fishing, hunting, cycling, skiing, golf are great activities, unless you’re the Bluefish or Trout. Wrestling is just Entertainment. It is a Circus Acrobatics for jocks. And that is why Chris Jericho gets to dance with the stars.
So the next time that you want to watch a sport, A REAL SPORT, remember the 3 rules of what makes a Sport. And then you can come and hang with the East Meadow Philosophers Society and we’ll even lend YOU the “Clicker”.

So there you have it folks.... Now you KNOW!
I never really gave it much thought.....because I seldom get to watch any sports or even talk about one for that matter, but it’s sure nice to know......
Today we went up on the mountain to deliver “Happy Anniversary” wishes to Vick’s parents and present them with a flowering pear tree. We spent a few hours there before rushing home to lock up the little black sheep that is actually supposed to be a wether......but lately has been overwhelmed by testosterone......ramming the alpacas, his “real” wether buddies Ed & Herbie, or maybe just whacking his head into the wall or feeders! The Vet is coming early to operate on “Ol One-Hung-Low” alias, Norton... and remove the “one which escaped the banding” during his youth.
We found that one of the testicular gems, escaped castration during his first shearing, but thought, perhaps it was damaged enough to not be active and cause any trouble. WELL......We were wrong, so tomorrow he goes under the knife I suppose. It would not be a good idea to band him now..... In my opinion....especially since the flies are now out. We’ll have to keep him sprayed to eliminate flies as it is. Well....we’ll see what the Vet thinks. She will be here early.....Anyway it ended up that we had to rush home to lock him into his stall, to make sure he didn't eat anything after ten o'Clock this evening. He will not be able to eat until after the operation tomorrow morning...if he feels like eating I guess.
After the Vet leaves, we’ll be sinking fence posts if it isn’t raining. If it rains, I’ll be doing a welding job.

039355 Cluckin' "A" Critter Farm, LLC

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