Many people point to their fear of dying period. They offer little explanation beyond that and seldom offer further elucidation such as, “I fear the unknown” or “I fear the darkness or emptiness” or maybe “I fear going to the grave”. I have already heard simply that “I am not ready to die.”
I doubt that the person who is not ready to die will ever be ready, but one day it will come and they had better be ready.
I, like everyone else will probably be terrified when my time arrives, but you know……I believe that is very natural. I don’t fear death or the knowledge that death will find me one day when my life’s contract has expired. My body cannot go on through eternity, as it is already beginning to break down. Only now am I working on overhauling it and giving it a few more good miles in life. I am eating right, dropping weight daily and enjoying the change. I miss some of the things I used to eat, but I liken it to missing the sounds of Christmas carolers and the smells of the season…large family dinners with all the relatives and the beauty of winter once we pass the new year and the snow is dirty and the winds bitter…no longer do you see the winter beauty. But for all the suffering after the good…spring arrives and things are good again.
That is where I am with my body right now. Dropping weight, missing food…but the spring is coming. Just as temperature rise and things begin to smell good again and the sun warms spring flowers, making them re-appear, so am I experiencing the re-appearance of my old body, looking better and working better!
Fear has no place in my life any longer. I will do the best I can for myself and Vick as I work to live longer with her. One day it won’t matter for either of us and God will call us home the minute our contract time expires, but like most people with a worn out car…you can no longer take it to the garage and renew the parts or extend the warranty, so our souls will simply step out of the worn out body and carry on with the next dimension. The other will be along shortly…and the first to go will always be there for the other when they are ready to step across to a new start.
Today Josh will come to clean barns and we'll work with him around the farm. We'll head to the feed store before he arrives to pick up the weeks feed though.
Later we'll be in the gift shop, installing new shelves and removing old furniture, etc. as we stock the shelves with yarn and install a large shelf we will use to display spinning wheels and the yarn swifts and large items for spinners. We are now to the point of actually offering Vick's services to teach folks spinning and fiber processing and Vick plans to offer the customer the ability to make their own yarn bats or rollogs from raw fiber on our motorized carding machine. No one offers that anywhere.
Fun, Fun, Fun...all day long with the one I love...NO FEAR...
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